Friday, February 13, 2009

How to survive a season, the Mac Attack way.

0-16, 31-131, 2-33, the list goes on. Does your team fall under this category? Is your team a stinker, not even worth the effort to press the power button on the television remote? You can't even GIVE away the tickets! Or do you just walk out at the 4th inning, halftime, etc.?


16-0, 101-61, 33-2, and so on. Does your team fall under this category? Is your team a dynamic powerhouse that shreds its competition in half, and their tickets are more prized than both gold and oil put together? Do you sit through the elements just to watch your team win or lose?

Well, with the new year comes the crushing depression of being a fan of the first category. Surviving these team's seasons are like combating the plague: hard and and it just gets harder and it pains you to call yourself a fan of that team. Likewise, does watching your team play gives you indigestion?

Can you ask yourself: "Hey! Is my local high-school or college team better than these so-called 'players'?"

Whether your team goes perfect or imperfect, B-Mac will be here to guide you through your team's season (regardless of sport, league, conference, division).

Rule No. 1 to surviving a season: Hopes and Expectations

First off, keep your expectations low, and you will be pleasantly surprised. Believe that your team will win at least half their games. If/when/once they win half their games during the season, then think about the claiming the wild card spot. Or if they have enough wins, think about claiming the division. Don't think about the playoffs or who's going to win the division at the beginning of the season. Also, don't get your hopes up. Because if you get your hopes up, you are only setting yourself up to be crushed further down the line.

Rule No. 2: Become a "Die-Hard"

Become a "Die-Hard fan", meaning that you try to weather the storm that is your team's season. Buff yourself up with knowledge, facts, and trivia about your team that no else would know.

For example, for a Phillies fan, "Can you name the former Phillies' pitcher to throw two no-hitters; one in both leagues?" Of course, the answer to that question is obviously the Senator, Jim Bunning.

If your team is really bad, go to games anyway. It's called a show of faith, most people would begin to lose hope.

Rule No. 3: The Sports Section, ESPN, and you

If you read the sports section of the newspaper, watch the "talking-head" shows on ESPN (PTI, ATH, ESPN First Take, Baseball Tonight, etc.). Keep an open mind. Don't believe everything that is written about your team or the season that your team goes through, especially when your hometown team is in a major market (NYC, L.A., Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia).

Rule No. 4: Curses?

There are no such things as curses. Curses are just stuff made up by the sports writers to cover up the fact that your team has bad players, bad management, or bad ownership. So Cubs fans, you are not cursed. You just have one of the above. The Red Sox were not cursed by that trade of the Babe, they just had bad teams or management, or ownership.

Same goes with the professional teams out of Philadelphia: you are/were not cursed by that building (One Liberty Plaza) or William Penn. You just have had lousy teams, players, management, ownership, etc.

Addition to Rule 4: The only thing if it is a curse, is the funk that the NCAA D-I Men's Basketball team at NJIT is in. I haven't checked lately, but I believe their winless streak was at five or six seasons, and at one point went 0-51.

Rule No. 5: As Tug McGraw once said, "Ya gotta Believe!"

Above all, believe in your team. If your team is a perennial stinker, believe that this is the year that we get out of the cellar and become champs. Or believe that this is the year that we turn that 0-16 into a 16-0. Or if your a Pirates or Royals fan: believe that this is the year that we finish above .500, and someplace other than last or second-to-last place in our division.

That's it. If you can survive an 0-16 season or a Pittsburgh Pirates season and make it out without killing yourself or your team, you can survive just about anything.

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